It Was In His Eyes
by Kyizi
Summary: A short Max POV continuing from Polo Loco, NEW now has Logan's POV as well
1. It Was In His Eyes

It Was In His Eyes  
  
By Kyizi  
  
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, the story is.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
E-mail: kyizifanfic@hotmail.com  
  
Yahoo! Group:   
  
Spoilers: Polo Loco  
  
Notes: Just a short POV I decided to write in my illness induced state! Max reflects on the events of the day.  
*  
  
She stared out over the city, watching the lights; some going on, others turning off and, here and there, others that seemed constant. It was calming; the wind blowing gently on her face, the noise gently making its way up into the night. When everything else around her seemed to be changing, it was all she knew would remain constant. The light. No matter how dark life would get, there was always light from something; when the moon failed and the stars were in hiding, light would come, sometimes from the most unexpected places, but it would come all the same.  
  
She shook her head and sat down, trying to shake her thoughts loose. This wasn't meant to be difficult, she wasn't meant to be alone. All her life she had been looking for her family and all that seemed to happen when she found them was that she watched them leave her all over again. She had no misconceptions of life being easy, but she hated that it had to be so hard.  
  
She had no idea how long she had sat in Logan's apartment watching the rain, but she had felt safe there. She always felt so safe with him, no matter how much danger she was in. That's why the look had meant so much. That one look that told her everything. At first she hadn't wanted to believe it but then she had found the pictures, the pictures of that day that was so ingrained into her memory it was too painful not to think about. That was when she had to get out, she had to leave and the only place she had wanted to go was to church. It almost made her laugh.  
  
She wasn't in any way religious, she had never even entertained the thought. The world was so full of crap that if there was anything behind it all, then why the hell should it be worshipped. But still she'd gone to church. She couldn't explain it, but all she had wanted to do was confess everything, to at least feel as if there was some chance of forgiveness. It had nothing to do with the look in Logan's eyes. Or so she kept telling herself. She wasn't a murderer, she had to keep telling herself that too, but no matter how many times the words ran through her head, they were always accompanied by pictures, by memories, that proved otherwise.  
  
Ben was gone. She had killed her own brother. What would the others think of her now? She was already the black sheep, the one that wouldn't move on, wouldn't protect herself by leaving, and now she had murdered her own brother. Murdered. She hadn't even noticed there were tears on her cheeks, but she felt them at that moment and knew they must have started to fall before she had reached the Space Needle. This time it had been her fault that she had lost a part of her family. She had been the one that couldn't keep it together. She had made him leave her, in the worst possible way.  
  
Now Logan was the only part of her family that she still had, but she had to wonder how long it would be before he left her too. No matter what she felt for him, and she wasn't sure what that was, she knew she didn't want him to leave her. Now that seemed inevitable. She'd seen it, seen him moving away from her already. It had been in his eyes. Another light went out.  
  
*  
The End 


	2. It Was In Her Eyes

**__**

It Was In Her Eyes

By Kyizi

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, the story is.

Rating: PG

E-mail: kyizifanfic@hotmail.com

Yahoo! Group: KyiziFic

Spoilers: Pollo Loco

Notes: Just a short POV companion to my fic "It Was In His Eyes" at Roxie21's request, sorry it took so long! :**)**

*

He stared through the rain streaked glass, watching the blinking lights of the city; that one thing around him that he couldn't change, and possibly the only thing that he wouldn't want to change. The lights made him feel at ease, made him realise that there was something around him that he could always count on to stay the same. People would move in and out of his life, but somewhere, a light would always be on.

He sighed and took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes. It didn't seem to matter what he was doing or thinking about, he couldn't get his mind off Max. It wasn't as if that was an unusual occurrence, he thought about Max all the time, but this was different. Ever since Lydecker had sent him those photographs, everything had changed. At first, he couldn't look at Max without seeing that childlike face smeared with blood and he had to admit to himself that it had made him incredibly uneasy. 

He couldn't explain why he had kept the photographs, but he had. It was as if he had to see them to prove to himself that she had changed, and that made him feel so guilty. He knew Max, he knew her, and he hated that he had felt the need to remind himself of who she was. She was not the same person she had been as a child; she had been trained to kill, trained to believe what she was told, made to follow orders. But she wasn't that little girl anymore, she had been fighting that for so long, she had been fighting what they had made her, and she wasn't that person anymore. He wasn't even sure that was who she had ever been.

He knew what she was, who she was, and he knew that was the person she would always be with him. But he had also seen what she had been, and what was worse was that she knew he had. There was just something that told him. It was in her eyes. The way she had stared at him, asked him what was wrong and he'd lied to her, told her it was nothing. But she wasn't stupid and neither was he. It was their biggest pretend. Their lack of communication may end up being what finally tore them apart, but he didn't know how to fix that.

His conversation with Lydecker had unnerved him. How had the man known about Max? How had Lydecker known about him and Max? She may have been trained to kill, but that wasn't who she was, no matter what Lydecker said. He knew Max wasn't the 'girl next door', but he also knew that she was not a cold blooded killer. She was Max. Simple as that. All he had to do was figure out how to make sure he didn't lose her. 

He glanced out the window again, and traced his fingers down the rain streaks. The city was going to sleep around him, noises were fading and the world was getting dark. He knew that he had to speak to Max, he had to make her understand that he didn't have to forgive her or even forget what she had done, because he knew her and he knew that it was neither his place to forgive, nor his right to remember or hold it over her. She had been a child trained to kill, and that was what she had done. She was different now. And he would make sure that she knew that. 

He watched the city, listened to the fading noises, watched as the lights blinked around him, and if he concentrated hard enough, he could see it, he could wish for it. Another light went on. 

*

The End


End file.
